“[S]exual excitement is in fact fairly easy to understand and not at all contrary to reason. …The things that turn us on are, at heart, almost always solutions to things we fear and symbols of how we’d like things to be.
“[For example, w]e are taught from a young age that we must become independent. We live in an individualistic culture that constantly vilifies dependence and pushes us towards an ideal of solitary maturity.
“And yet it seems, in our sexual selves, many of us are deeply turned on by the idea of thorough passivity and submission, as a form of escape from the over-strenuous demands of grown-up life. Being a ‘slave’ means that someone else will know exactly what you should do, will take full responsibility, will take choice away from you. This can sound appalling because most slave owners we can imagine (or even just most bosses) are awful. They won’t have our best interests at heart. They won’t be kind. So we want to be independent in part because there doesn’t seem to be anyone around nice enough to deserve our submission.
“But the deep hope in the erotic scenario is that at last we can be with someone who is worthy of our complete loyalty and devotion.”
“[If she wants to] be handin herself over like that oughta pick better hands” Jude said.
~ Jack Womack, Random Acts of Senseless Violence, May 9