How to Write a Blog

  • Give up any pretence of knowing.
  • Renounce your sense of dignity. This is the internet: the entire world’s watching, for all time, & you’re bound to sneeze into the microphone at some point.
  • Nothing’s more boring than narcissism. Down with first-person pronouns!
  • Why be creative when you can be lazy? Take a leaf out of Bono’s book — every artist is a cannibal, every poet is a thief — and find a good blog to rip off.
  • Mention no names & noöne gets hurt.
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